Mad Lib, Mad Me

2005-02-17 - 5:41 p.m.

Here are my results from a Mad Lib from plopphizz.diaryland.com, which was swiped (by me) from Brin's blog.

Would you rather eat a chocolate candy full of hot dogs or curtains, and why?

Two potential love interests use pickup lines on you at a bar. One says, "You look like you could use a lipstick. I've got one back at my place that we can run all night long." The second says, "If you like the way my scrotum looks, you should feel me stopping your areola with it." Which line sweeps you off your feet and into the bedroom?

You have to design the most popular Valentine's Day sex toy of the year by combining an Easy Bake Oven, an pillow and a plate of baked potatoes. Give us the final marketing pitch for the product.

Armed with only an angry park bench and a tanning newspaper, describe how you would seduce the object of your affections.

I already know you are to sexy for your shirt, but are you too sexy for althletes?

Odd, but fun!

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Speaking of odd emails (nice segway, Jamie), I received an email earlier containing just this:

Call out Gouranga be happy!!!
Gouranga Gouranga Gouranga ....
That which brings the highest happiness!!

Umm...
Gouranga! Gouranga! Gouranga!

Didn't work.

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I'm making seafood chowder for dinner. It's cold this evening, and seems to be an appropriate meal for the weather. The catch? I'm allergic to shellfish.

I suppose it's a much milder allergy than most sufferers have. When I eat shrimp or lobster, one or two of three things happens. My throat gets uber-scratchy, my lips swell up, or I projectile-vomit.

I apologize for the overshare.

For some reason, I can eat the canned variety of shrimp. It must have something to do with the packaging process, and the canned shrimp is perfect for a chowder. I'm also using clams, imitation crabmeat, and canned crab. (which I can eat).

Yum!

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I went to the ATM to check my balance a short while ago. Who on Earth do you think I ran into? The fuckwad who almost fired me for my first online diary here in DiaryLand. Luckily, he didn't see me and a full-blown confrontation didn't occur. I left that job, and am glad that I did -- but I'm still a bit haunted and angry over what happened. In fact, that was the beginning and end of my carrer with them. I never fully recovered from, what may seem to some, as a petty issue, but it really hurt -- because I know I did nothing wrong. On top of that, I lost. I hate to lose.

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I guess that's it for now. Hope you all have a great evening!

Jamie