Boss 101

2005-07-22 - 9:54 p.m.

Advice (and facts) for all of you employers out there:

Keep your employees happy

Respect 'mental health days'. Give kudos where necessary, and mean it. Allow for uninterrupted breaks and give LEGAL breaks, as required by law. Treat your emplyees as you wish for them to treat you. Respect is a two-way street.

The 'do as I say, not as I do' rule is null and void

If you goof around, use foul language, and slack off on the job, don't expect your staff to do the opposite. You are, after all -- their role model. You want to run a tight ship? Follow the same rules you've implemented.

You may have earned your title, but that does not always make you right.

And you should know this by now. That little plaque on your wall that says "The boss is always right"? Take it down. Like, now.

Don't scold or reprimand employees in front of others

It's called tact. Use it.

Remember that little things are sometimes forgotten.

Are you losing money or customers because someone forgot to wash a dish or file a paper? No? Then get off your lazy ass and do it. Chances are, the favor has already been returned, without it being pointed out to you. Things get forgotten. Deal.

Don't be a dick

If you have a high turnover at your job, chances are, it is you who is doing something wrong. Leave your personal problems at home, and put on a fake smile. After all, you expect that of your employees, yes?

Be open to new suggestions

If someone makes a suggestion for something, and how it can be helpful, increase revenue, or just make an amployee a happier person, be open to the suggestion. If it doesn't work out, you can always drop it.

Remember: A business is only as good as its employees

...and if you treat them as equals instead of subordinates, you'll most likely find that your business has flourished into something extraordinary.

Respect diversity

Are you a racist, intolerant, or a homophobe? Do you hate people who walk with a limp? You probably shouldn't be running a business, then. A diverse staff attracts diverse customers, which means revenue.

Remember 'HALT'

Are you Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? Take the day off. You are of no use to anyone when you feel like this. If it's the first one, eat a sandwich. The last, take a nap.

Minimalize stress

Different people deal with stress in different ways. If you are going to confront them, the difference between a calm verbal reprimand, and a mean-spirited tongue-lashing, can mean the difference between losing an otherwise good employee, or keeping them.

Gives raises, promotions, and awards when deserved

It costs money to keep good employees. If you haven't learned this by now, it's time to re-evaluate your career choice.

An apology goes a long way

Don't be afraid to use those two little words. If you were wrong, admit it. You'll earn more repect, and you'll feel much better about yourself later on. Trust me on this.

Redefine the word 'boss'

You are in charge. Chances are that your employees know this. Make it known, but do it tastefully, and appropriately. There's nothing worse than a power-hungry ogre.

This is dedicated to all of the tolerant, wonderful bosses out there who know how to do their job, and who do it well on a daily basis.

p.s. Bravo to Carnie Wilson for speaking up about post-partum depression!